HOW DOES COUNSELING CHANGE YOUR PROSPECTIVE ON RELATIONSHIPS! tummy bug has arrived 😢
Jan 30, 2019
https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYxYfWMmU8w

I'm a walking ball of oil so I might as
well just try it so I had this big old
baby in my house and told that old
fellow he said you were proud of me
[Music]
there was no vlogging at all because
mrs. dear Ezra was very ill with a
stomach bug very ill and it kind of
transferred transferred transferred
transferred to me I didn't do the whole
throwing up stuff but I definitely had
the icky tummy feeling just really tired
I slept a lot and so I just yeah it
really was not a good day at all for me
or my lovely princess look at my face
you guys weird little on the shiny side
because and I don't have my glasses on
because I just I am taking your guys's
suggestions at heart because I am that
desperate now I have got to figure out
something to do with my dry skin like it
is getting that bad my skin just it's
hurting my lips are killing my fingers
because of them being so dry it's
hurting so bad so a lot of you guys have
said blistex and stuff which I'm still I
need to get to the store to do all that
but I already had something in my
cupboard that I thought well I'm just
gonna give it a shoot and try it and see
what happens I mean I'm a walking ball
of oil so I might as well just try it so
I had this big old baby in my cupboard
and it's just organic coconut oil
naturally refined natural flavor of an
aroma heat I mean cuz you're supposed to
I guess cook with it not use it as a
facial thing but
I was reading like a whole bunch of
stuff on it and it really it does it's
really supposed to help with like your
moisture your skin things like that so I
was like you know what I'm gonna try it
so I took a shower and wash my face with
I can't think of the name of the soap
but it's like a really good soap and
then I didn't scrub it at all I went
ahead and I took that from the big
container and I put some in a small
little container that I had and I'm just
gonna apply this every day even if it's
a couple times a day I don't care what I
gotta do but I've got to get my skin
under control because this whole dryness
is just this is not my skin and I told
only that the other day I was like oh my
gosh I'm like babe I feel like so bad
because my skin I mean I've always had
like dry lips or I've picked my fingers
you know and things like that but I've
never dealt with my face even being so
dry that I just got patchy skin
everywhere it's just really weird so I
am looking a little on the shiny side
but you know I don't care I don't care
what I gots to do to get the skin under
control
so yeah that's what I did but seems like
she is getting a little bit better I'm
still feeling a little hmmm queasy but
we're doing okay um so I'm just coming
to you this morning instead of yesterday
and talking to you guys before I start
today's vlog because today I've got
doctor's appointment and we've got
things to do so I figured today would be
a great day to vlog and so yeah that's
kind of what we are doing um what else
was I didn't talk about I do definitely
I was looking through this book
absolutely love it it is so amazing and
I think that there's a lot of great
points that are in this particular book
that are worth sharing and talking about
and making it almost like a discussion
over what I read I am so sorry I look
like a hot mess but I'm trying not to
touch too much on my forehead because
I've got oil on my forehead too um but I
think there's some great topics in here
that are worth sharing and for us to
discuss and talk about and things like
that so um I was looking through it and
it is it's such an amazing but I'm so so
so so excited that Chris you got this
for me I'm so appreciative of this I
mean I'm appreciative of everything like
all of the things that have been sent to
me I've been put to good use um I took
over all these up finger clippers
yesterday he's like oh here we go again
but I had to clip my skins off like they
were so bought but um I definitely gave
it back to him and I diffused her
husband amazing cuz I've been putting a
peppermint in it and that way it will
kind of help with like tummy issues and
stuff like that um Arisa your scheduler
oh it's in my purse right now husband
ultimately amazing I've already got
everything transferred over to it so
that I can start using that full time
because I just love my planner and then
having my book has been amazing I
haven't done any of it with it like with
myself I just read through a few things
of it and that way then I can save it to
do
you guys so anyways um onto another
topic
uh I was you know I never got to share
with you guys about my counseling
session so I thought that I would
definitely discuss a little bit about
what we talked about
due to kind of where I'm at in life and
where I'm at relationship wise and
boundary setting you know as my healing
continues and I am continuing to learn
healthy boundaries and healthy
relationships relationships that we have
stepped apart from each other there's a
few that are coming back into the
picture and have approached me and you
know did a lot of apologizing which I am
so appreciative and you know I'm I'm not
expecting them to be the only ones to
apologize because you know I am just as
at fault because I didn't know how to
have relationship and you know I know
that I've done many things to hurt
people as well I'm not gonna say that I
intentionally did but I think at the
time of my life where I was at at that
time the tools that I used for having a
relationship or very unhealthy and
therefore it caused a lot of hurt for a
lot of people and I it wasn't
intentional but it was just where I was
at in life having relationships it
doesn't mean that you know I
intentionally tried to hurt people but I
think sometimes those were the tools
that were given to me throughout my like
being raised up that that's what I knew
was to have unhealthy relationships no
boundaries no nothing so as I'm going
into this new phase of life I'm learning
that boundaries are very healthy
boundaries are a must to have with any
relationship due to the fact that you
don't want to have such open
relationships with people every you know
every relationship doesn't have to know
every detail of your life and before I
felt like I owed everybody every detail
of my life in order to have a
relationship if that makes any sense I
hope it does so using like an animal for
instance you know when an animal is
wounded and you go to try and help them
9 out of 10 they're going to attack you
or they're gonna try and bite you or
whatever because they're hurt and they
don't want to be hurt anymore and I
think that sadly that's kind of how I
was is as a person I was wounded from my
childhood and not not particularly
because of everybody and you know but
trust was a huge issue with me I didn't
trust people so to trust a relationship
with anybody was almost like
non-existent like I didn't trust people
it just wasn't gonna happen
so having a healthy relationship was
just not even gonna be anything that was
close to what I could imagine it being
and now that I have gone through and I
am going through my counseling and
learning the techniques of a healthy
relationship and learning the techniques
of healthy boundaries setting and things
like that it's such a different aspect
to go into a relationship now and build
it on a foundation of trust build it on
a foundation of boundaries building a
relationship on you know you give and
you take you know and not just give give
give and not take take take and I've
also learned that you know I can only be
available as much as I can be available
and if that means that a relationship
for me right now is very surfaced
because I'm building trust I'm building
my tools then that's what kind of
relationship I'm searching for I've had
some people from my past that I haven't
had much relationships with recently
come back into my life and kind of want
to you know
explorer' having a new relationship with
me and as that is so amazing and it's so
refreshing to see people coming back
into my life and saying hey you know I
want to meet you where you're at I don't
want you to be anything more than what
you are right now feel so good but at
the same time it feels so scary because
it's now me using the tools that I've
been gaining for the last year and a
half almost two years it's time for me
to start putting those tools to use and
mmm so I feel very confident that I can
build a beautiful relationship with many
people that were in my past but make
them new relationships built on a
foundation of many things rather than
just being one thing and that's just
being unhealthy you know and so
counseling was a really good session
this last week because it just touched
base on so many things of where I'm at
right now in life and we're gonna do
some more exploring on that this coming
Monday because I before I really make
the plunge to start building new
relationships with these amazing people
that are coming back into my life I want
to make sure that I'm 100% stable and
when I say when I want to be a hundred
percent stable as I can't be responsible
for anybody else's actions I can't be
responsible for anybody else's place
where they're at in life I can meet them
where they're at just like I would
expect them to meet me where I'm at in
my life you know as growing up I think a
lot of people seen you know my my
parents as irresponsible individuals you
know my mom was an addict my dad was an
addict he you know committed suicide
there's multiple things with my parents
and sadly I think that their actions
reflected on me as a human myself and as
a just an individual and I feel like I
carried a lot of my parents choices
as a reflection for how people trusted
me in a relationship and that is one
thing that I have had to make very clear
is you know the people that were my
parents they their actions don't reflect
Who I am today they don't dictate what
kind of a relationship I can have today
everybody everybody has choices
everybody has rights to be the person
they want to be and I have chosen to not
be the person that my parents were does
that make me better than them of course
not but it does make me be my own person
and I am only responsible for me I am
NOT responsible for anybody else other
than me and my name doesn't follow suit
under my mom's name or under my dad's
name so I don't want to be measured up
to them that's not who I am I am
somebody that has seeked help I am
somebody that desires to have better
relationships that I could ever imagine
and that can happen now because I'm in
such a better place in life than I was a
few years ago and so it's just it was a
really good it was a really really good
session Monday and just knowing that
it's okay to put boundaries you know
sometimes I was afraid to put boundaries
because I was afraid that people would
look at me as being a capital B I would
be afraid of hurting other people's
feelings because you know I'd put a
boundary up and I wasn't good at that at
the time so I would back back down from
what my boundary was and you can't do
that you can't be responsible for others
response you can only be responsible for
how you want to carry a relationship and
you know you don't have to you don't
have to put the boundary as something
negative boundaries are very healthy
boundaries are very good
but sometimes how somebody takes that
boundary is the way that you have
delivered the boundary so as long as
you're being very compassionate when
you're delivering that boundary I think
that the person responding and receiving
that you know boundary will take it just
the way that you're putting it out but
if you come across as being very stern
and making them feel like they have to
get personal and take it personal and
you know things like that I think that
that's when it becomes more of an issue
and it becomes then feelings get hurt
and things like that and you don't want
to start a relationship off like that
you want to go into it 100% as clean and
clear as you can be but be very be very
thoughtful of the person that you're
going into the relationship with and be
very compassionate and soft with them
because you don't know where they might
be in life and so just because you're in
one place in life doesn't mean they are
so you need to meet them where they're
at and they need to be able to meet you
where you're at and together you can
make a beautiful relationship and that's
what I'm learning so anyways I'm gonna
close you guys I need to get going but I
will check in with you guys here shortly
to start my next vlog but I hope you
guys are having a wonderful beautiful
day and Tuesday was an amazing day and I
will check in with you guys soon take
care
bye
